Komplex Sinplicities, Section Two, Prophecies Excerpt

Here I’m gonna share with you one of the scared scrolls of prophecies from Section Two of my book, Komplex Sinplicities; available on Kindle and paperback. Enjoy!

 

 

LOST SCROLL OF THE ABHORED NATIONS

 

 

  1. There shall be professional weepers who will roam the land, and we shall pay them tribute for having went far and wide in their travels.

    And we can rest assured that they will become disgustingly annoyed with the whole bit and shall put their weeping aside and seek therapy for doing such a silly thing in the first place.

  2. And it shall come to pass in those days when the poultry will begin to randomly lay eggs at random places at random times throughout the day and night . . . randomly.

  3. Yea, there shall be an albino jabberwocky with a gastrointestinal disorder whose flatulence will cause the fruit bearing trees within the immediate vicinity of the discharge to produce thrice their normal yield lest they firstly go barren.

  4. Look not to put thy faith in any goat farmer whose stench is greater than that of his livestock. Nor shall thou also believeth his words when he proclaims unto the political leaders of the nations that communal free range goat farming is the answer to the world’s economical problems.

  5. Do not ill mindedly burn a thing that doth not belong to you. For the owner may do something horrific back to you; like splash milk on you that has the consistency of kangaroo semen.

    But not the consistency of kangaroo semen of today, but rather the consistency of kangaroo semen of the late 1930’s; particularly that of mid 1937 around June . . . or perhaps even July between the morning hours of 7:30 and 9:30 Mountain Standard Time.

  6. Woe be unto the task masters that knoweth not of the tasks they are to be tasking! This will be a fearful day! For there will be great confusion in the land and many people who laboreth to provide a proper meal for their families will become unlabored in their tiresome efforts as they are seen in their confusion as unfit to perform their daily tasks.

    And it should be so noted the unemployment rate shall dramatically rise to the ascending motion of increase.

  7. Blessed are the pig tail eaters. For they know good food when others know not of it.

  8. Blessed are the drain cleaners. For they shall inherit their filth unwantingly.

 

. . . and there ya have it. Thanks for reading,

Kyran Ravencroft

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About kyranravencroft

Writer, treasure hunter, husband, and daddy. But not necessarily in that order.

Posted on February 9, 2018, in Komplex Sinplicities and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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